I’m Going Through A Quarter Life “Crisis”

        It all started on a day like any other. There I was getting ready for a somewhat easy schedule, with a smile planted on my naive face because after my first and only class I was going to relax then go out for some drinks. I took a hot shower; blow dried my hair and applied a good amount of make up (you can tell this was a good day because I try to avoid the last two of those steps regularly). Then it happened.

            As I turned on my hair straightener I tried to fix my side part, and there it was- staring at me. Laughing at me even. A big, long, ugly gray hair. Just one. One was all it took for me to transform from a bright-eyed bushy tailed woman, to a damaged fragile soul. It was all I could think about all day; I called my mom and everything. Needless to say she didn’t feel bad for me, in fact, she said something along the lines of, “This is only the beginning my love…”

            The beginning?! Nonsense! Not on my freaking watch! I decided I would have to put an end to it immediately. It took a few weeks, but it quickly became a reality that the more I tried to run from it, the faster it would catch up to me. The rebellion inside my head was turning on me. I still don’t know what to do.

            I tried everything, and I mean everything. First thing on my list was to get drunk as shit. Yeah, as a college student I do that anyways but I was willing to take it to the next level.

 Alicia, let me reintroduce you to Vodka. Vodka, Alicia. Now that you two have had a moment to reconnect, have fun you guys! See you in the morning.

–Alicia’s Sanity

            So…long story short it didn’t work out. The only thing the vodka did to me was turn me into Angry Spice. Angry Spice cried about her gray hair to attractive guys at the bar all the night, and yelled at her innocent friends on the sidelines. Then as if that wasn’t heinous enough, I woke up with a hang over so detestable that I missed one of my classes. Who cares, right? Wrong. This brings me to my next point.

Exhibit A: Why am I being so responsible?! I skipped class, okay there’s always that. What did I do all day? Ask my poor roommate (who probably wasn’t happy with Angry Spice anyways). All fucking day I complained about skipping that class. All fucking day. I was actually upset with myself just thinking about the material I missed. I mean I was dealing with some real genuine guilt. WHY! Literally who CARES that I missed ONE class. I knew I was losing it at that point.

Exhibit B: Recently one of my guy friends from home wanted to hang out and catch up. First of all I was acting like a freak of nature, because my hometown is only 25 minutes away from my college so I go back there all the time. However after “the incident” (aka gray hair) I drove to my hometown and felt like a different person. I met up at the local gas station and felt awkwardly nostalgic. “I remember this from high school/I remember that from high school”. Okay Alicia calm down. Its been a hot minute since you were in high school so knock it off. What happened next was outrageous. My male friend asked if I wanted to split a bag of weed, which was nothing  too out there when I lived at home, I dabbled all the time with that shit. I went through my purse and noticed my credit card was still at my college. I had $12 in cash. What did I say to him? I said, “I wish I could but I only have a few dollars on me and I think I’m ganna pick up milk and scrubbing bubbles for my bathroom in Bridgewater.” WHAT. Yep. S-c-r-u-b-b-i-n-g BUBBLES. That is what I wanted to do with that money. I so badly wish I was making this up. SCRUBBING BUBBLES. I actually still can’t get over it. Scrubbing fucking bubbles.

Exhibit C: You guys know that feeling you get when you are about to do something exciting? Now I don’t mean normal exciting like getting drunk or going on a date you’ve been looking for. I am talking like, 6 Flags excited. With 6 Flags you can see yourself the entire car ride up imagining which rides you will go on first, and make up this whole weird scenario about little details that revolve around your experience at the park. Well this happened to me, except it was about IKEA.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Yes IKEA. Okay let me be fair about this one though. First of all I was on a serious journey with my neighbor because he said he would buy me a plant for baby-sitting his plants all of winter break. I never thought I would see the day where I would be hyped about going plant shopping, but whatever. So anyways all day I told people I was going to IKEA for the first time- that’s about how far I got before someone stopped me to say YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO IKEA?!?! Uh, no? What is the big deal? I was under the impression it was just like a Target or something. I was very wrong. 

I was so hyped up by 5 pm that by the time class got out I demanded we hit the road right away. That entire ride up I did that whole 6 Flags imagine thing I was talking about. I pictured myself looking at many plants, eating a hot dog (I was told there was food there). I saw myself comparing and contrasting plants trying to decide which was best for my apartment. Ask anyone I went with, I almost pissed my pants (literally) out of excitement when I saw elevators. 3 floors of home décor!? NO WAY. IKEA was more heavenly than I could have ever imagined. See that right there is a huge problem. Huge.

            I am honestly reaching out to all of my readers. What is a girl supposed to do? There I was for 21 years trying (way to hard) to grow up fast, and now I just want to go back or stop time. I know some people who are around my age and getting pregnant and its not even weird! As in I am actually congratulating them, because this is an actual age people have kids and get married. In only a year I need to find a real job and start looking for real life candidates for husbands. I don’t think those actually go hand in hand but common. I am freaking out here! The worst part about this is what my mom said is ever so valid, “This is only the beginning…”

It really is.