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Sunday, June 28, 2015

4 Things Only Girls That Struggle With a Yo-yo Weight Cycle Understand


So, I suspect the best way to preface this article is to bring to light that I used to be decently fat as a child. I have always struggled with my weight, even when I was at my smallest. I knew I was chubby when I started cheerleading in 3rd grade. I was the only kid that barely fit in a size large, and couldn’t do a cartwheel (I will confess that that probably had nothing to do with me being fat, just pathetically unathletic). Anyways, I’d watch all the girls tumbling around with these tiny hips and I’d just be kind of picking at the grass wishing I wasn’t there.

                I thinned out a lot as I hit middle school, and by my senior year of high school I was unrecognizably skinny. Low and behold, college has put me back in my place with all of the partying, sleeping in late and study snacks. Needless to say this has driven me crazy. It’s not just a struggle, but a cycle:

 

1.       The whispering

 

You guys know what I mean, the “ohhh’s” the “ahhh’s”. The “you look so great” or “have you lost weight?” You mind as well have it tattooed on your forehead that you’ve lost or gained fat because everyone is inquiring about it. Not to mention the look on people’s faces when you gained some noticeable pounds.
 
 That, “too bad, she looked so good thin” stares. People just keep pointing out your physical health, and it’s starting to strain on your mental.

 

2.       You never fully see your body for what it is

 

Even when you are at your skinniest you barely realize it. It’s the idea of how you might see someone every day, so you are less apt to see their overall changes over a month or so. It’s the same thing with your own self. You look at yourself daily, so you can’t really see the weight loss or gain, you can only feel it. This can especially suck if you really are thinning out, because when you look in the mirror all you see is your “problem areas”. You just won’t take anyone’s word for it when they say you look great.

 

3.       You can never be quite sure if you’ll be skinny again

 

This yo-yo weight shit isn’t like…on a timer or anything. It’s not like every year on the year you’re like “Oh goodie! Time for my new hot bod, just in time for summer!” Nope, on the contrary, you feel like you’ll be fat forever. You don’t know how you lost 12 pounds last semester, you just remember you did. And now, there’s no end in sight! Every picture from recently is cringe worthy, and all of your old skinny pics feel like a goddamn sham! You endlessly obsess over what you weighed last month and tell yourself with a little hard work you’ll feel better (hint: it takes A LOT of hard work to change a lifestyle because diets aren’t real.)
 

4.       Your EFFING wardrobe

 

Ahhh yes, the dreaded closet. You haven’t worn your festive crop tops since Nam and your white American Eagle jeans have become Enemy #1. It might not be your old small clothes that seal the deal for you but the new bulky ones. The size up on your tags is a confidence crusher, and your yoga pants are already getting worn out. It becomes your fucking mission to fit into your summer shorts, but until then, you’ll be rocking your 10th sundress this week.

 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

From Young Adult to Real Life Adult


                Ahhh yes, growing pains. No, I’m not just talking about the aches, the cramps, and other unmentionable body issues (although that is a total thing in your 20’s). I’m actually referring to the mental strain of becoming an adult. Yes, like the “growing pains” of realizing, shit- I am on the fast track of being a full on adult and becoming 30 seems like a hop and a skip away.

                So anyways, I’ve never thought too deeply about this phrase until I was a teenager. I thought of growing pains as a shorter way to describe the hormonal confusing whirlwind I was stuck in while the rest of the world seemed to be floating above me with ease. By the end of high school I thought I had it all figured out…this was not the first or last time I realized how very wrong I was.

                We spend so much of our developmental years in grade school that by the time we hit college we are led to believe that it will be a fun and quick four years that shall lead us to the Promise Land: an entry level job. To me, college has just been like getting my feet wet, but I don’t feel quite ready to jump in the pool. However this is not another quirky article about how college doesn’t really prepare you for the real world completely (don't get me wrong- I'll post that when I graduate) but how we have to adjust to a handful of changes while evolving from young adult to RLA (real life adult).

 

1.       The Age Factor

All my life I’ve heard my parents, family friends, star crossed lovers in movies and even teachers explain to me that age is just a number. I’d think to myself, “that’s just something that older people say”. Nope, if you are deeper than a kiddie pool then it shouldn’t take too long to realize it makes perfect sense. Not to get all weird on you guys, but I feel like our souls stay young, they just adapt to social norms for our age and adapt to the level of education or brain has caught up to. But the soul is the same. The class clown will always be goofy, even at 70. The princess bitch in your homeroom will always have a stick up her royal ass, even at 70. However as we grow into these older ages we start to wonder: Am I where I always told myself where I would be at this age? The clock is ticking, and old age is sticking.

 

2.       If we’re talking BODY

This concept is still tripping me out. That whole thing about metabolism slowing down, and French fries taking you down is true. Our 20’s is when we have the chance to get in the best shape of our lives, but more importantly set healthy habits we can carry with us even after we are married with children. My skinny mini friends and I are religiously watching what we eat, and even what we drink. Word to the wise is STRAY AWAY FROM BEER. Great for casual settings but that shit is a trap. Beer bellies on deck for RLA.

                Weight doesn’t just cover it though, our faces age as well. Now, some people call me crazy but I already apply anti-aging cream daily. Since I’m only 23, its only preventative (but it does keep my skin baby smooth).
 
 However, no cream will stop Mother Nature from taking her natural course through my body. When I look back at pictures of me from even 2 or 3 years ago I can’t believe how young I look. Try not to party too much like a rock star, because it will age you like a jackass.

 

3.       Friendships

So here is my genetic take on how we grow old and lose friends:

                Your priorities change. Their priorities change. You set new social boundaries for yourself. They set new social boundaries for themselves. You meet new key people in your life. They meet new key people in their life. Get it?
 

                What I am trying to convey is life changes. You will have friends you know your entire fucking life, and suddenly you link up one day and things don’t click between you anymore. A lot of people will ignore this feeling and try to force something that isn’t quite there anymore. These feelings of companionship have dissipated, and an empty expectation of friendships have emerged. Things that you usually want to run and tell them, you now have the urge to tell someone else. Growing apart HURTS, but making yourself connect with people who just don’t get ‘it’ will HURT you too.


So I know I am painting the process of growing up to sound like the worst form of torture, but it’s not. However if we don’t prepare ourselves, reality will give us a big old slap in the face quite quickly.