What to drink, what to drink...

It’s Thursday night and second semester is just starting. Naturally all of my friends are ready to get dressed up in clothes that make them look like hoochies and meet up at whoevers place’s turn it is to get ruined so we can pregame. It’s funny because in college you have a couple of groups of people you hang out with, but your going out team is certainly you’re A-Team. These bitches are ridiculous, crazy and know what to do and where to go.

            My groups of friends are nothing alike however. Especially in regards to what their liquor of choice is for the shit show of a night out on Thursday we have all agreed to be apart of. We have one thing in common though: We are all broke bitches and need to split a bottle. So what do we choose?

            My first friend who is also my roommate will defend her choice until the bitter end: wine. Now we have evolved since freshman year from boxed wine to (classier?) bottles of Yellowtail moscatto.

The bright side: Any wine-o will tell you that wine makes you a happy/warm drunk every single time you consume it. It took me a while to realize I actually love wine and can fully appreciate the taste of it. Red wine is not my thing but sweet white wine is welcome in my refrigerator any time. There’s nothing like having a big ol’ glass of Yellowtail and shooting the shit with your friends on who is dating who (or who just got dumped).

The dark side: Warning- this shit will fuck you up. Excuse my language but it needed to be put out there. I cannot even begin to tell you how many fools think that you can down wine like any other drink. This is a sad misconception and is leading to girls acting sloppy among college campuses everywhere! One glass, you can feel it. Two glasses, you sure are talking more. Three glasses you are buzzing’. Any glasses besides that you may want to watch yourself, I’m not kidding. Boys in particular don’t seem to understand the true power behind wine. I say this because guys often mock me for drinking wine “like such a girl”. Oh really? You drink this bottle! Then tell me how ya feel buddy. And there is always the guy who insists on ‘slapping the bag’ when you get Franzia…

            Then there’s the friend that insists on downing some beers. She can chug them like a guy, and that’s not always a good thing.

The bright side: You are surely able to control yourself for the first couple of hours and are even able to pregame before the pregame. My friends and I personally only need 8 or 9 before we are down for the count and that certainly works out financially for me. Did I mention the selection? Whenever I run a packie for beer it takes me forever to decide if I want the same old same old or if I want to mix it up with some seasonal beer. For me the good thing is there’s never a beer you won’t finish even if you don’t like it. If you got over the initial taste of beer anything that isn’t really your first choice is still drinkable.

The dark side: You guessed it- beer belly. It’s a real thing! I know this from personal experience (and I’ve been paying for it every freaking day). All those extra calories to get drunk when you could just take a shot really catch up after a while. I didn’t appreciate beer until the summer going into my junior year of college so when I moved into my apartment I started slugging them down. It took only about two months until none of my clothes fit me right and it took me twice as long to get drunk (welcome to building a tolerance). Believe me, beer is good- God is great but cut down the calories before its too late!

My friend Michelle only drinks one thing: tequila. She really turned me onto it ever since she worked at some fancy Mexican restaurant and trained on the bar. She may spend her days as a waitress now but this chick can make a mean margarita.

The bright side: If you and you’re A-team want an instabuzz then look no further! There is no doubt about it that you’ll get really drunk really fast and it’s a drunk like no other! My body warms up right away and I am ready for action. Did I mention there are minimal calories? So bust out that blender and make some killer margaritas. The best part of it all is you can make them strong as anything and it tastes like candy. Peach mango margaritas: strongly recommended by yours truly.

The dark side: Did I mention the bright side and the dark side are the same thing? Tequila is like that crazy friend you have who you love going out with, but you know is going to get out of hand (and maybe arrested). You sling them back and next thing you know you are black out by the time you show up to the black light party. If you are drinking margaritas you will see no reason to slow down because it’s just too damn delicious. Fight the dark side my friends! Tequila takes no prisoners. I mean, there is a reason for that expression one tequila, two tequila, three tequila floor.

Finally there is the trooper who still reps vodka. I actually wish I didn’t have to write this piece of the article because I’m really not a fan. However most kids my age are all about it so here goes nothing.

The bright side: You can certainly get a huge bottle for zilch. A lot of students on my campus still buy Burnett’s (for some strange reason) but it will last them about 2 weeks of drinking. I mean, there are some cool selections out there and you can add pretty much any chaser to your vodka of choice…and don’t even get me started about the bar. I just discovered the magic of a fruit loop drink and it may have changed my life. Only flavored vodka can make magic like that I must admit.

The dark side: Hangover city bitch. I mean you don’t even know what one is until you finish a bottle of UV on some random weekend night. This is the type of hangover that no food, Advil or water can fix.

You need a solid 6 hours to start feeling like yourself again and that’s not even guaranteed. Okay, so you might be a baller and get something like Greygoose, in that case thumbs up for you. The rest of us will be perishing in our dorm rooms for the next 24 hours.