4 Things Only Girls That Struggle With a Yo-yo Weight Cycle Understand

So, I suspect the best way to preface this article is to bring to light that I used to be decently fat as a child. I have always struggled with my weight, even when I was at my smallest. I knew I was chubby when I started cheerleading in 3^rd grade. I was the only kid that barely fit in a size large, and couldn’t do a cartwheel (I will confess that that probably had nothing to do with me being fat, just pathetically unathletic). Anyways, I’d watch all the girls tumbling around with these tiny hips and I’d just be kind of picking at the grass wishing I wasn’t there.

                I thinned out a lot as I hit middle school, and by my senior year of high school I was unrecognizably skinny. Low and behold, college has put me back in my place with all of the partying, sleeping in late and study snacks. Needless to say this has driven me crazy. It’s not just a struggle, but a cycle:

 

1.       The whispering

 

You guys know what I mean, the “ohhh’s” the “ahhh’s”. The “you look so great” or “have you lost weight?” You mind as well have it tattooed on your forehead that you’ve lost or gained fat because everyone is inquiring about it. Not to mention the look on people’s faces when you gained some noticeable pounds.

 

 That, “too bad, she looked so good thin” stares. People just keep pointing out your physical health, and it’s starting to strain on your mental.

 

2.       You never fully see your body for what it is

 

Even when you are at your skinniest you barely realize it. It’s the idea of how you might see someone every day, so you are less apt to see their overall changes over a month or so. It’s the same thing with your own self. You look at yourself daily, so you can’t really see the weight loss or gain, you can only feel it. This can especially suck if you really are thinning out, because when you look in the mirror all you see is your “problem areas”. You just won’t take anyone’s word for it when they say you look great.

 

3.       You can never be quite sure if you’ll be skinny again

 

This yo-yo weight shit isn’t like…on a timer or anything. It’s not like every year on the year you’re like “Oh goodie! Time for my new hot bod, just in time for summer!” Nope, on the contrary, you feel like you’ll be fat forever. You don’t know how you lost 12 pounds last semester, you just remember you did. And now, there’s no end in sight! Every picture from recently is cringe worthy, and all of your old skinny pics feel like a goddamn sham! You endlessly obsess over what you weighed last month and tell yourself with a little hard work you’ll feel better (hint: it takes A LOT of hard work to change a lifestyle because diets aren’t real.)

 

4.       Your EFFING wardrobe

 

Ahhh yes, the dreaded closet. You haven’t worn your festive crop tops since Nam and your white American Eagle jeans have become Enemy #1. It might not be your old small clothes that seal the deal for you but the new bulky ones. The size up on your tags is a confidence crusher, and your yoga pants are already getting worn out. It becomes your fucking mission to fit into your summer shorts, but until then, you’ll be rocking your 10^th sundress this week.

 

 Image 1 credit: http://www.truereligionproject.com/2012_01_01_archive.html

Image credit 2: http://reasonswhyimhappy.com/reason-26-yo-yo-dieting/

From Young Adult to Real Life Adult

                Ahhh yes, growing pains. No, I’m not just talking about the aches, the cramps, and other unmentionable body issues (although that is a total thing in your 20’s). I’m actually referring to the mental strain of becoming an adult. Yes, like the “growing pains” of realizing, shit- I am on the fast track of being a full on adult and becoming 30 seems like a hop and a skip away.

                So anyways, I’ve never thought too deeply about this phrase until I was a teenager. I thought of growing pains as a shorter way to describe the hormonal confusing whirlwind I was stuck in while the rest of the world seemed to be floating above me with ease. By the end of high school I thought I had it all figured out…this was not the first or last time I realized how very wrong I was.

                We spend so much of our developmental years in grade school that by the time we hit college we are led to believe that it will be a fun and quick four years that shall lead us to the Promise Land: an entry level job. To me, college has just been like getting my feet wet, but I don’t feel quite ready to jump in the pool. However this is not another quirky article about how college doesn’t really prepare you for the real world completely (don't get me wrong- I'll post that when I graduate) but how we have to adjust to a handful of changes while evolving from young adult to RLA (real life adult).

 

1.       The Age Factor

All my life I’ve heard my parents, family friends, star crossed lovers in movies and even teachers explain to me that age is just a number. I’d think to myself, “that’s just something that older people say”. Nope, if you are deeper than a kiddie pool then it shouldn’t take too long to realize it makes perfect sense. Not to get all weird on you guys, but I feel like our souls stay young, they just adapt to social norms for our age and adapt to the level of education or brain has caught up to. But the soul is the same. The class clown will always be goofy, even at 70. The princess bitch in your homeroom will always have a stick up her royal ass, even at 70. However as we grow into these older ages we start to wonder: Am I where I always told myself where I would be at this age? The clock is ticking, and old age is sticking.

 

2.       If we’re talking BODY

This concept is still tripping me out. That whole thing about metabolism slowing down, and French fries taking you down is true. Our 20’s is when we have the chance to get in the best shape of our lives, but more importantly set healthy habits we can carry with us even after we are married with children. My skinny mini friends and I are religiously watching what we eat, and even what we drink. Word to the wise is STRAY AWAY FROM BEER. Great for casual settings but that shit is a trap. Beer bellies on deck for RLA.

                Weight doesn’t just cover it though, our faces age as well. Now, some people call me crazy but I already apply anti-aging cream daily. Since I’m only 23, its only preventative (but it does keep my skin baby smooth).

 

 However, no cream will stop Mother Nature from taking her natural course through my body. When I look back at pictures of me from even 2 or 3 years ago I can’t believe how young I look. Try not to party too much like a rock star, because it will age you like a jackass.

 

3.       Friendships

So here is my genetic take on how we grow old and lose friends:

                Your priorities change. Their priorities change. You set new social boundaries for yourself. They set new social boundaries for themselves. You meet new key people in your life. They meet new key people in their life. Get it?

 

                What I am trying to convey is life changes. You will have friends you know your entire fucking life, and suddenly you link up one day and things don’t click between you anymore. A lot of people will ignore this feeling and try to force something that isn’t quite there anymore. These feelings of companionship have dissipated, and an empty expectation of friendships have emerged. Things that you usually want to run and tell them, you now have the urge to tell someone else. Growing apart HURTS, but making yourself connect with people who just don’t get ‘it’ will HURT you too.

So I know I am painting the process of growing up to sound like the worst form of torture, but it’s not. However if we don’t prepare ourselves, reality will give us a big old slap in the face quite quickly.

Image 1 credit: http://intothegloss.com/2013/03/anti-aging-in-your-twenties-too-much-too-soon-skin-care-products-retinol/

 

Image credit 2: http://www.playbuzz.com/smotht10/what-princess-diaries-character-are-you

New Year- New Excuses

Oh man, 2015? Kind of messed up considering I remember when it turned 2000 and I was dragged to some huge fancy hall to celebrate the new millennium with my parents. I didn’t really get the big deal except that I got to stay out late at 6 years old (which I wasn’t happy at the time… just a little tired bitch). So it has been 15 years since then, and like, a shit ton has changed. But have you?

                Okay, so obviously you are older, I’ll even give you wiser (unless you have actually been living under a rock with no human contact) but have you really changed? Think about it, 15 years ago who were you? Most of you reading this are probably my age and you’re like, “Uhm, Alicia I was freaking 6 years old, the fact that I have changed is a given”.

                …Right. I know.

                But I mean after all of the years since then, even last year what has really changed? People have these stupid resolutions when what you should really try to change is your attitude. A typical one that people aim for is Lose Weight- New Year New You. Don’t get me wrong, I know some people that will take this idea and turn it into a life style. They lose weight, and they are healthy happy members of society and their gym of choice. But leave room for the hypocrites (me included).

                You see, you get this surge of motivation. It feels like a second chance- although changing your life for the better is a chance you get every day, people will ignore that fact. These same people will hit the gym for like 2 weeks and eventually fall back into their horrible habits. Not to mention, the diet and gym never come at the same time and you cannot out exercise a shitty diet. Just do it! Don’t lie to yourself if you aren’t going to commit. You know what you can commit to? Sweating a little bit every day and don’t eat like an asshole. Last year I remember thinking “crap I gained weight, I feel fat. I should probably work on this”. Then I didn’t, and a few months later when I was actually fat I was like “wow I wish I could just get back to my weight from a few months ago”. [Aka I was willing to settle for still out of shape and had no intentions of ever getting to my ideal weight]. I didn’t promise myself grueling gym hours or a crazy diet, but with few real changes I lost enough weight that I’m not too down on myself. And I feel better because I am keeping up with it.

                Enough about me though, back to your attitude. You need to work on that crap. Motivation isn’t enough. It’s not like because you really want something one day that this will bring success for years to come. You need to continue to stay motivated. Can’t stop won’t stop is a real thing. The second you stop, is when things go to shit. The second you break the new “norm” you’ve created for yourself you are royally fucked.

                Another good piece of advice, keep your resolution a secret, because people will ask and ask and ask, just hoping you caved on it so they can feel better about caving on their own.

So good luck for the year to come. Be realistic, try hard and get ready because next year will arrive in a blink of an eye.